FROM THE DEPT OF AWKWARD ALTRUISM

As reported in the Telegraph: "Atheists offer to care for Christians' pets after the Rapture":

All the atheists signed up by Eternal Earth-Bound Pets are self-confessed sinners and blasphemers, guaranteeing they will be left behind when the chosen are selected...

According to some polls, as many as 55 per cent of Americans believe in the notion of the Rapture.

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" the group's website asks.

"Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind."

For $110, the firm promises lifetime care for almost all domestic pets if their owners are transported to heaven within the next ten years.

Nice. But who will water my plants when it turns out I'm not inscribed in the book of life? I've got a pocket-warming ten-spot to ensure all those leafy greens are otherwise spared that "strong hand and an outstretched arm".

~ EMILY BOBROW