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PINING FOR AN INVISIBILITY CAPE

A fun game to play in boring moments is to list all of the places you'd go
and things you'd do if you had an invisibility cape. Kim Jong Il's boudoir (or Dita Von Teese's), the Skull and Bones inner sanctum--the options are endless, and tend to fall into easy categories: prurient or curiosity-sating.

But there is a third more subtle category. This is the class of places that fascinate you but also make you feel uncomfortable. Prada stores, Vogue-ish night clubs and a rectangular area of downtown Manhattan known as NoLIta are a few examples.

The NoLIta neighbourhood is approximately two blocks wide by two blocks long, open to all, yet self-selectively packed with dismayingly beautiful citizens. The people-watching is fantastic, but too long spent staring can make a person shrink. The average NoLIta resident is not only attractive, but with the means and determination to become as attractive as possible. The grooming bar is set dauntingly high (such perfect eyebrows, such artfully tousled hair). The clothing is expensively understated, dauntingly chic.

The result is a promenade of people who seem crafted to make you feel bad about yourself. To spend time in that neighbourhood is to age ten years, gain ten pounds and crave an "Extreme Makeover".

An invisibility cape might seem unnecessary, given the way visitors already feel invisible. But a cape would permit worry-free gawking––you could sit back and observe without the self-consciousness of inhabiting such a foreign land. An invisibility cape, one hopes, might replace the activity of comparison with something much healthier: pure, unadulterated admiration. Until we have the technology nailed down, sunglasses must suffice.

~ MOLLY YOUNG

Picture Credit: Steve Isaacs (via Flickr)