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Of course, I am heavily biased in favor of this piece, because the brave and wonderful author is my husband, whom I love dearly.

Anyway, I think my wonderfully brave husband, John, makes some very important points that are useful for the general public to understand. (Oh, when I'm talking about the general public, I'm talking about people like me, the allegedly "non-crazy" people.)

First, John describes having symptoms at a young age. Most "experts" say that the onset of schizophrenia and other mental illnesses begins when people are in their teens and 20s.

I question that.

From my husband's experience, and from what I hear more and more from on-top-of-it clinicians, people eventually diagnosed with these illnesses might have been dealing with these symptoms for a long time. Since childhood. Early childhood. These kids and adolescents just don't know how to talk about it. They didn't have the language to express it when they were younger. And then, as they get older and more concerned about peer relationships, they are afraid of being seen as "not normal."

And, of course, there is the stigma and fear of coming out as having a mental illness.

Second, my husband shows that it is possible to have a seemingly devastating diagnosis like schizoaffective disorder or schizophrenia, but to lead a productive, and perhaps even happy life. Most people assume that people with schizophrenia--or with related illness-- like my husband, are doomed. To not work, to not function, to be in and out of hospitals, to be zonked out on meds. Sure, the statistics and the reality are a bit scary, but with proper treatment, family support, and the affected person's ability to accept treatment, amazing things are possible.

The brain is a mysterious and infinitely complex organ, and scientists are just beginning to understand how it works, how sometimes it misfires, and how to make things right.

This was an exceptionally interesting article, and the editors of Intelligent Life should definitely consider doing a full story for publication in the main magazine on this subject, based on this article.

Mental illness is something that often breeds prejudice and discrimination. Is it not right that a publication called intelligent life should contribute to bringing this issue to a wider public so that people can be properly informed?

Thank you for your note. Stephen Hinshaw and others have written an excellent book on mental illness and stigma. I highly recommend it. I also recommend The Center Cannot Hold - another writing by someone with schizophrenia. It is a moving, intelligent and revealing book that speaks the truth. For myself, I know I stigmatize myself, but I'm learning not to do that as much. Perhaps I can learn that through writing. Again, many thanks for reading and responding.

Your essay really caught my eye because it rings so true and mirrors the confusion and agonies so many others with your diagnoses must face. For that reason, you may be interested in my recently released biographical novel, Broken Saint. It is based on my forty-year friendship with a bipolar man, and chronicles his internal and external struggles as he battles for stability and acceptance (of himself and by others). You can learn more about the book at www.eloquentbooks.com/BrokenSaint.html.

Mark Zamen, author

Thank you for your article. I love reading things by and about people who have this affliction because it helps me to understand my mother. I grew up in a veritable mental institution (Mother bi-polar with numerous emotional problems. Dad a moderately severe Narcissist). For me crazy is normal. Normal, whatever that is, is the weird state. I wouldn't want to relive my childhood, but at the same time I wouldn't change it either. I now feel it was a blessing to have crazy parents. It made me more tolerant and taught me gave me a wider perspective. It taught me to see that with hindsight sometimes "crazy" isn't crazy at all and sometimes "normal" is just plain crazy!

I thought your article was an extract from a book and was disapointed to find it wasn't. I wanted to read more. I wish you healing and mental quiet!!!!

Thank you. What an elucidating article! I had no idea someone with this illness could be a productive member of society. I marvel at how you can maintain a job and a marriage while dealing with these voices. I'm wondering if you can tell us (maybe in another essay?) how the meds work. Also, do you ever want to hurt yourself or others? (And if so, how you deal with that.) And finally, how do you summon the strength to get through every day? What are your coping mechanisms?

It's my guess that most people would never be this authentic. That would be crazy.

Thank you, John and Martha, for sharing your private pain and victories with the "general public." I wish you all the best, continued healing, and a long and happy life together. I second the request for a longer article or perhaps even a book. And when you do write that memoir together, put me on the publisher's mailing list so I can buy a copy.

I am a psychiatrist and clinical psychologist who worked with John immediately after his release from the psychiatric unit in Humboldt County. I can confirm for you that this is the same John Sterns who committed crimes while working at Humboldt State University. Using information from the Humboldt County file and in subsequent conversations with his first therapist, we quickly confirmed that John has chronic depression, chronic anxiety, schizophrenia and possibly bipolar disorder. The symptoms he describes in this article are not unusual for someone with his set of illnesses. The early onset of the illnesses is also not unusual given John's stressful childhood and other factors unique to his situation. I have worked as a psychiatrist for more than 25 years, so I am interested in what the writer of this note does in working with people with mental illness and what professional qualifications he/she has. I am saddened that the writer chooses to undermine John's credibility, especially since he worked so hard and truthfully with the police and has led an uneventful life since that period. It is too easy to stigmatize and scapegoat people with mental illness as well as those with criminal records. Although John did not read the press articles about his case at the time, I did and I hope we have moved past the ignorance and half-truths that filled those articles, along with the lack of responsibility-taking from the university for its part in the episode.

Julie R. Waterman, M.D., Ph.D.

Julie,

Your rebuttal of the question of whether this is the same John Stens who apparently criminally defrauded a University reads more as a self-interested attack rather than a true defense. I went to the link and read the information. Then I googled and read more. A program was destroyed. John did it, was arrested and convicted for his actions.

His remorse is something that I can't personally judge however, you lost me completely by stating: "along with the lack of responsibility-taking from the university for its part in the episode." John bears the sole responsibility for his actions. Blaming the victim is reprehensible.

John undermined his own credibility by his crimes and his subsequent statements regarding those crimes. His posting about his experience with his mental illness is thoughtful, informative and interesting, but it neither obliterates or excuses his criminal history.

First let me say that I enjoyed this article very much. My brother has been diagnosed with manic depression. In the height of his mania he too deals with voices. He always was a bright boy so off his meds he has brilliant ideas and can produce a believable story down to the smallest detail. When he is medicated he fights depression on a daily basis. He switches back and forth because if he goes off his meds there is a time period that he feels "normal" or like his old self. However, when the manic takes over he can end up in Los Vegas in a hotel room that isn't his taking a shower. He has learned when to sign himself in to the local hospital. It has saved his life more than once.
My opinion is that we all hear voices. Some are more prominent than others. It's all up to the hot wiring in the brain.
Want to say hello? My website is heartattacklifegoes.com

I am a professor at Humboldt State University. It's obvious to me that the author of the attacks on John and Martha are written by Judy Hodgson. Before I respond to Judy's invective I want to respond to the writer who believes that stating the university should have taken more responsibility for the situation is "blaming the victim." The situation is more complex than the article cited and proves Julie Waterman's point that half-truths and ignorance were predominant (and are still predominant, Judy) during that time. University administrators had purchased a building that led to a financial and community relations disaster; they alienated the Arcata community so much that a much-needed academic building wasn't built; and they completely tore apart our athletics program. Oh, and they ignored numerous attempts by a Foundation employee to have John's actions investigated. Yes, the university bears some responsibility for this, although I agree that John must take most of the responsibility and all of the responsibility and consequences for his own actions.

As for Judy, you anonymously attack John and Martha and provide no new evidence about anything. You claimed in earlier articles that you had read all of the court documents. Well, if this is true, then you would know that John's crimes were based around receiving reimbursement for false meals and travel. In other words, he had already spent the money and my guess is that he used what he stole to pay back his credit cards. If he didn't he was an idiot. Additionally, you try to give yourself false credibility in the mental health field, which does not help your own case. You might have personal experience, but you are not a professional and have no training.

My story is that I worked with John and he directed $30,000 of unrestricted money to my program that we had matched by a $210,000 federal grant that significantly helped our program. Nothing he did in relationship to our program was a crime. Regarding his other activities, I'm not saying that what John did was good; it was obviously criminal and bad. But I am more approving of the use of unrestricted funds for academic programs than for building a $150,000 meeting room for one of our former vice presidents.

Judy, end your hypocrisy and desperate attempt at belated credibility and childish fame.

J.

Thank you to everyone for writing comments about my article and for expressing a variety of views. I really appreciate it. Best regards, John Sterns

I honestly have to wonder how many of these responses are written by Martha Ross, a journalist for Diablo magazine, and/or John Stern himself. All these various folks are not immediately responding to stand up for Stern and Ross. It doesn't matter if other people were at fault at the University and who cares about the politics. The fact is that John was disingenuous when writing this article. He's a criminal who got off with a very minimal sentence because he claimed he was mentally ill. How many white collars crimes to this extent have you ever seen someone get off because of this? He knew what he was doing and I suspect his wife did, where did she think all the extra money was coming from? I'm sure she is sitting at home monitoring this article. Get a clue as to who the real posters are here.

The ignorance about the Sterns case continues with the people who post these comments condemning him. His crimes were real and he doesn't deserve any praise, but the "extent" of his crimes were relatively minor given the current scandals in higher eduation financial crimes where the figures go well into the hundreds of thousands of dollars. The money Sterns stole totaled less than $50,000 and his mental illness was more than a "claim." And someone no less than the university's public information officer blamed the university's administration for their part in the fiasco - publicly and repeatedly. The anti-Sterns posters need to read the police reports, the psychiatric reports and the CSU auditor's report (which places a tremendous amount of blame on the university and its former top administrators) before they continue propogating the ignorance that our local media whip(s) up about the case. I worked with Sterns. He was obviously slick - too slick, which should have been everyone's first clue that he was a cheap con artist. A lot of people fell for his act which means a lot of people were betrayed. Perhaps what's really going on with the anti-Sterns posters is that they are venting their anger at being too stupid to see through the smoke and mirrors.